I need someone to come to my house and walk me through my wardrobe. Someone needs to explain to me why I have such a hard time letting go. Not of the individual garments but what each group of garments represent. I have, in my own time donated plenty of outworn not always outdated clothing. The tossing part isn’t the most difficult for me. I love the feeling of getting rid of ‘stuff’. It is a process and may take some time but I can do it, when there is no psychological attachment to the item.
Now this is career specific and not weight related. I have my jeans, dresses and bathing suits I am determined to fit into one day as well as one size down clothes for when the weight starts coming off. My issues with my weight are far beyond my wardrobe. I have figured out that manipulating my wardrobe to serve as a catalyst to weight loss does nothing but sabotage my efforts and increase my credit card bills. I have decided to dress my size and stop trying to cover it all up with bigger sizes. That just makes me look bigger.
I have my casual wear that usually lasts a year. I only have a few items that I do wear over and over. They are usually inexpensive and cheap to begin with so I don’t expect them to last. I don’t want them to last so when the weight comes off I have the green light to buy some clothes. I have my current work wardrobe which consists primarily of jeans, camisoles and sweaters. These are a little more sophisticated in color, fabric and style and I do feel good wearing them. Then I have my wanna-be work wardrobe. I once worked with a woman whose wardrobe was so classic she inspired me to collect quality items for the long haul. Now, the only problem is I don’t have the career or lifestyle to warrant the classic clothing but still have the need to be prepared for it.
I recently heard of Project 333 where people keep only 33 items, including shoes and accessories and wear only those items for 30 days. My chest gets tight at the thought of even starting such a project. Not only would I have to relinquish the items collecting dust in my closet, now I have to accessorize? What about laundry? I will be committed to a rigid laundry schedule without spare clothes to allow for a buffer period. When I look at my shoe collection I see a repeating pattern of the same type, style and color so I do not foresee too much trauma there. Like my casual t-shirts, I stick to the same style with a variety of colors. I probably already wear the same 33 items
For some reason though, I have a set of pants – corduroy. Not just a pair but a set. Not from the 70’s that go swish, swish, swish with each step and leaves rug burn between your thighs. No, the more modern thinner corduroy. The micro fleece version of corduroy. I have them in three very similar but different colors and can count on one hand how many times I have worn them. To me, those pants represent a life in the workplace I just don’t seem to belong in. Why can’t I let this go? I will probably never have the career those clothes belong to. I can see myself selling them. I’m getting less anxious at the thought of putting them online and sending them away. I have sold books online. I have sold exercise equipment but I have not sold one piece of clothing. Is this my problem? The clothes are too nice to just give to Goodwill? Am I too lazy to bring them to the agencies that help woman entering the workforce?
These clothes represent a lifestyle that I wanted but could never attain. I have attempted several times but it is time to let that fantasy go. I don’t know if I was ever meant for the corporate world. My hope is to be the investor or CEO in the pencil skirt with the Christian Louboutins. This I foresee and this will manifest…someday. I will keep my hopes, toss my fantasies and sell my ideas.